Hot Mess Revival.

I've been a terrible gluten intolerant person (really, there's no better word for that...I tried).  I haven't been eating right and as a result, I've felt LIKE. CRAP.  Not only that, but I've gained back all the weight I lost by being gluten free.  I tell myself that the macaroni that my daughter is eating is worth a stomachache later.  Or that choosing a chicken sandwich with breading won't be all THAT bad for my tummy.  Or that I'm not a full blown Celiac, so I can tolerate a little bit of bread.  All of that is false.  And all of that is really, really stupid.  Take last week, for example.  I was running late, I stopped at McDonald's for breakfast and I ate a bagel.  I told myself that it would be worth it.  It wasn't.  I was in extreme pain the rest of the day--stomach cramps, shooting pains, the works.  No food is worth feeling like that.

I'm not sure how it happened.  Maybe it was just one time that I decided I could have a dinner roll with my meal.  Or maybe I just sampled my daughter's dinner (because I don't make her a gluten free meal...it's not good for a growing toddler).  Or maybe I just thought that all this work to be gluten free wasn't worth it.

I'll be honest.  Being gluten free is a gigantic pain in the rear.  It's meticulous menu planning before I even step foot in a grocery store.  It's reading labels while I shop to make sure I can eat even a simple dollop of ketchup.  It's spending three times the amount for gluten free items that I would on regular ones.  It's not being able to just walk up to my pantry and whip something together for dinner because a meal has to be planned out in advance.  I hate it.

But it doesn't matter how much of a headache it is, it means that I won't be in pain anymore.  And isn't that worth it?  Being able to live pain-free and enjoy my daughter, instead of asking her to play quietly in the floor by herself while I roll myself into a ball on the couch.  What I was doing was stupid.  Food isn't worth being in pain.  Food isn't worth sacking on the extra pounds and having zero energy.  No amount of creamy mac and cheese is worth not feeling good and not being able to spend time with my family.  Isn't it the same way with dieting?  Just say no. Put down the bread and walk away and tell myself that it isn't worth it.

SO....I'm bringing back HOT MESS MONDAYS!  I was losing so much weight and feeling really great about myself when I was doing that.  I was holding myself accountable and eating right.  I was tracking my meals and I was seeing results.  Time to feel good about myself again.  Time to be able to stand in front of a mirror after I get out of the shower and not feel disgusting.  Time to stop feeling like I need to hide every inch of skin from everyone...even my husband.  I don't want to live like this.  Time for exercises and gluten free menus.  Wanna join??

Starting weight:

 Now, before you bite my head off, let me explain.  I weighed myself and posted it to show you that weight is just a number.  I weigh the least amount I ever have, post-Avery, and I feel horrible.  My stomach is flabby, I have no energy and I'm not eating right.  Weight is just a number.  So, instead of having a "goal weight" that I want to reach for, I'm going to have a "goal lifestyle" that I'm going to work for.  I want to be able to walk up a flight of steps without being winded.  I want to walk around my neighborhood (which I've been trying to do with Avery most nights) and still have energy when I get home to clean my kitchen.  It's about a way of life and not a weight number for me.  Heck, 125 was my GOAL weight whenever I was doing my first round of "Hot Mess Mama!"  Shows that I'm not living healthy, no matter what I weigh.  So it's time to bring the Hot Mama back and feel better about myself!   Hot Mama and gluten free (again!), here I come!