Just a Simple Thank You.

Today, I had the chance to return to the Kentucky FFA State Convention as a contest judge. I always love going back to convention. I'm surrounded by national blue and corn gold corduroy jackets. I see wide-eyed youth, on fire for the FFA. I feel their nerves as they prepare to compete. I notice their excitement as they try to take in all that the convention has to offer. I know this because I was once a young FFA member experiencing my very own first state convention. First as a regular member, then as a team competitor, then as a prepared public speaker, next as a State Officer Candidate and finally, as a Kentucky FFA State Officer. To try to describe to you the impact the the National FFA Organization has had on my life would be impossible. There aren't enough words to properly express how much love I have for the FFA. Or what it did for me. Or how passionate I feel about youth getting involved in the FFA.

When I first came back to convention as a Past State Officer, I was overwhelmed with sadness. I was no longer allowed to sport my official dress down the hallways. I couldn't blend in with the members in my blue corduroy that became so familiar it almost felt like a second skin. Instead, I was in dress pants and a blouse...the official dress of a "has-been." I looked at the fresh faces of the new state officers and wanted to trade places with them. It was an emotion so strong, I physically hurt from missing the FFA.

After the next few trips back, it got easier to see the new batch of state officers. Instead of jealousy, I felt excitement for them. Glad they were getting to live out their moment and experience something few members get the chance to. Instead, I looked at my friends from the FFA...people that were members the same time I was...that were now the FFA advisors. The ones that got a front row seat every day to watch their students fall in love with agriculture. I began to feel a different kind of jealousy. One where I felt like my friends were getting to live out the ultimate dream job, while I just came to convention as an outsider--only to return back to whatever job that was waiting for me at home. I'd look at my friends and wonder if I'd made a terrible decision. I'd wonder if I, too, should be in their shoes and should have followed the path of an ag teacher.

Finally, I returned to convention again today. I waited for the pang of jealousy or the realization I hadn't made the right decisions to hit....but that feeling never came. Instead, I looked at my friends, leading their groups of students around, and just felt proud. I am so proud to know people that have truly found their calling in life. People that just KNEW they wanted to be ag teachers and are doing a fantastic job doing just that. When I look at my friends and hear them talk about their plans for their programs and their students, their excitement is contagious. I'm genuinely happy for them. They're living out their dream...it's just not one that was made for me. I know that I'll find my true calling one day (I hope, I hope...), but for now, I'm content coming back to convention in my current role: as a proud FFA Alum that's deeply, gratefully, humbly thankful for having the chance to learn so much from just a simple school organization. Thank you, Kentucky FFA.

Mommy Knows Best

I haven't made it any secret that Avery doesn't sleep.  And, at 12 months old, this hasn't changed.  We've tried it all...to the point of not trying anything anymore.  Whatever happens, happens--whether that means getting up once during the night at 5:30 or if that means waking up at 2, 3:30, 4:15 and 6.  It's random in our house.  We've tried keeping bedtime routines strict, then no routine, cereal and bath before bed, bottle to fall asleep, sound machine, sleep training....you name it, we've tried it.  Our kid just isn't responding.  I was pretty much okay with it.  I accepted that she'll do whatever she needs to do and prayed to God every night that she'll eventually grow out it.  But recently, Avery has been visited by the teething fairy (boy, I'd love to punch that woman) and has made sleep pretty much non-existent in my home.  Instead of waking up at 3 and whining for a little while, Avery would wake and a full-on, scream-her-head-off crying jag would begin.  No pacifier would quiet her, no bottle would soothe.  She didn't want to be in her bed, held, rocked, laid on the couch with daddy, NOTHING.  We basically gave her Advil and fought her until she finally passed out again.  Completely, utterly, physically and mentally draining.  I've been in a fog....it's hard to get up in the morning, it's hard to find motivation to do anything throughout the day, it's hard to stay awake on the drive to and from work.  This stage is so exhausting.  Then, on Saturday night, we went to my cousin's wedding and stayed the night in a hotel.  Avery was worn out by the time the wedding was over, so my mom and sister took her back to the hotel room so she could turn in for the night.  When Marty and I got in, we left her in my parent's room and I worried all night long what kind of sleep they were getting.  Was Avery screaming her head off and they were cursing me for a terrible night?  When morning came, I went to their room....and putting on my most sympathetic and "I-totally-understand-because-I'm-living-it-everyday" face, I asked "How did she sleep??"  All night, y'all.  She tossed and turned around 5:30, but never woke up and slept until 8:30.  WHAT.THE.HELL.  What does my kid have against her daddy and I that she is hell-bent and determined not to sleep for us??  Better yet, determined that WE don't get any sleep either.  Frustrated is only the beginning of what I was feeling.  Yesterday, when I got home, there was a card addressed to Marty and I in the mailbox.  I opened it:

And I know it's going to be okay.  Because sometimes you just need your mommy to tell you so.

High Fives all around!

Do you ever need a reminder to be thankful for the daily things you have?  To be happy for the little things that make up your life that are easily forgotten?  It's okay....me too.  That's why I'm happy I stumbled on "High Five for Friday" on one of my favorite blogs--From my Grey Desk.  It's a link party...cause there ain't no party like a linked up party....okay, I'll stop.  It's just five pictures of things you're thankful for or that you looked forward to or made you just plain happy this week.  Ready?

 one...I sold my Dooney & Bourke purse this week and put money in my pocket!  Yahoo for selling old things that aren't wanted/needed/used!

two....I guess I'm cheating here.  This was technically last week.  But I'm still so thankful for it, it's worth mentioning a week later.  I had the opportunity to go to the Kentucky FFA Convention in Lexington and judge the Jr. Parli competition.  While there, I met up with FIVE of my former state officer teammates.  To this day, apart from my wedding and Avery's birth, my state officer year was some of the most cherished moments of my life.  These guys are honestly my brothers and sisters. <3

three...I have a recent obsession with antique and skeleton keys.  I have probably 15 home decor and necklaces pinned that have some type of key on them.  Picked up this GIANT brass key wall decor for....ready?.....$9 Wednesday at Kirklands.  Now to find a place for it...... 

 four....daddy and Granddaddy went fishing for Father's Day, so Avery, Kris and I laid by the pool.  Have you ever seen anything sweeter?

five....anytime I see a Walt Disney quote, I know it's gonna be a good day. 

It's nice to remember all the good things that happened this week instead of focusing on the things that went wrong.  What's your High Five?