Just Have Faith.

Note:  This post is about my faith in Jesus and thoughts about prayer.  I debated for awhile about writing this, but I feel like it's something that's pressing on my heart.  If it offends you, I'm sorry.  Maybe you should get to know my Jesus a little better so it doesn't. :)

A man in my Sunday school class posed this question this week:  Why pray to God for him to change things if bad things are still going to happen to good people?

At first, I was shocked that someone would be so open about their doubts that the Lord answers prayers during a church's Sunday school class.  But the more I thought about it, the more I realized....haven't we all been there?  Haven't we thought, after losing a loved one: "Where were you God?  Why didn't you save my loved one?  Why did you take them?"  Haven't we thought, after watching a random act of terror happen in our country:  "Where were you God?  Why would you allow something like that to happen??"  After all, don't we, as Christians face the question all the time:  "If God existed, why is there suffering in the world?"  If you're like me, I've struggled to answer that question.  How do you tell an atheist that you just believe.  I don't have to have reasons for everything, I just know He's there.  I know what He's done in my life and that's proof enough for me.  Does that mean my life is easy?  Far from it.  I've had my share of hard times and grief.  God NEVER promised that life as a Christian would be easy.  Think about it:  if God had promised that, if you became a Christian, life would be without suffering or hardships or grief....don't you think more people would be flocking to Jesus??  A God that promises an easy life with no suffering?  Sign me up!  No, I don't know why He works the way He does.  I don't know why He gives Satan so much power sometimes and allows for bad things to happen.  I just have faith.  I have faith that God has reasons for everything He does.  And that it's not for me to understand everything He has planned.  Maybe he took that little girl from this world so another person could watch her bravely fight and come to know Him through her battle.  Who am I to question?

As much as I don't know and question God, I do know this:

---Prayer changes things.
"Ask, and it will be given to you.  Seek and you will find."  {Matthew 7:7}

Does that mean that God is going to give you exactly what you're praying for?  I saw a perfect quote on Pinterest:

"God always answers prayers with 3 answers:  1. Yes  2. Not yet  3. I have something better in mind"

We, as His followers, just have to trust that God is working for your best interests.  Yes, sometimes that means letting bad things happen to you.  No, I can't explain why.

---We all die.  Does that mean that your death will be easy?  No.  You could get cancer, have a heart attack, be in a car wreck.  It may not be pleasant.  But stop and think about what's on the other side of death.  Jesus.  He's waiting for you.  I would gladly suffer my last months on Earth, knowing that my Savior is on the other side, waiting with open arms.


I was really stewing about writing this post, because the question in Sunday school really got me thinking.  And then this song played on my Pandora station and I knew it was a sign.  Whatever you're going through, my friend....He's there.  You may feel like He's not listening or He's abandoned you, but He's right by your side.

Do you wonder why you have to,
Feel the things that hurt you,
If there's a God who loves you,
Where is He now?

Maybe, there are things you can't see
And all those things are happening
To bring a better ending
Some day, some how, you'll see, you'll see

Would dare you, would you dare, to believe,
That you still have a reason to sing,
'cause the pain you've been feeling,
Can't compare to the joy that's coming

So hold on, you got to wait for the light
Press on, just fight the good fight
Because the pain you've been feeling, 
It's just the dark before the morning

My friend, you know how this all ends
And you know where you're going,
You just don't know how you get there
So just say a prayer.
And hold on, cause there's good who love God,
Life is not a snapshot, it might take a little time,
But you'll see the bigger picture

Would dare you, would you dare, to believe,
That you still have a reason to sing,
'cause the pain you've been feeling,
Can't compare to the joy that's coming

So hold on, you got to wait for the light
Press on, just fight the good fight
Because the pain you've been feeling, 
It's just the dark before the morning
Yeah, yeah,
Before the morning,
Yeah, yeah

Once you feel the way of glory,
All your pain will fade to memory
Once you feel the way of glory,
All your pain will fade to memory
Memory, memory, yeah

Would dare you, would you dare, to believe,
That you still have a reason to sing,
'cause the pain you've been feeling,
Can't compare to the joy that's coming

Would dare you, would you dare, to believe,
That you still have a reason to sing,
'cause the pain you've been feeling,
Can't compare to the joy that's coming

C'mon, you got to wait for the light
Press on, just fight the good fight
Because the pain you've been feeling,
It's just the hurt before the healing
The pain you've been feeling,
Just the dark before the morning
Before the morning, yeah, yeah
Before the morning

Control Freak.

It's funny how God has a way of reminding me that I'm not in control of anything.  Nothing at all.  As much as I try to control my life, my husband, my child, my corner of the world, I can't.  Nothing made that more clear than the events of this weekend. 

 

You may remember that we were supposed to move this weekend.  SUPPOSED TO being the key word there.  We didn't, obviously.  To make a long story (that ends up with a violently angry me) short, we were told that we can't move into our new home until an appraisal is done.  An appraisal that will take another 10-14 days for someone to come out to the house and do.  10-14 days.  That's TWO WEEKS.  Which basically means that I've busted my rear this weekend to get our ENTIRE house packed into boxes for absolutely no reason.  And when I say that I've packed everything, I'm not exaggerating.  I've packed our medicines, pajamas, our shoes, our pots and pans, our underwear....everything.  So I'm going to have to go through every single box, figure out what I need to take out to live on for the next two weeks....only to repack it again in two weeks.  When I found out this news on Friday, I was angry.  Violently, break something, scream and shake my fists angry.  I'd had a headache for going on a week straight, stressing about packing, moving and unpacking.  Now I had a headache for an entirely different reason.  Talk about a complete and total inconvenience.  My weekend was completely ruined.  Not to mention the next two weeks being a pain in the neck.  Until this morning's sermon at church.  The message that was given was on John 18:1-11 and Jesus' betrayal and arrest.  Out of every situation you can think of Jesus being in during his lifetime, you would think that during his arrest, he would have been completely out of control of the events going on.  His friend, his disciple, was betraying him, turning him over to be sacrificed.  You would have thought he would felt out of control of his situation, his circumstances. But he isn't (You need to hear the entire message.  I can't do it justice.  So go here---www.youngerscreek.com--and click on the online messages tab.  The date is March 3rd, 2013).  As I sat, listening to my preacher, I was reminded--I can't control everything.  I can't even try.  Instead, I need to remember that even when I'm not in control, God is.  Even when it feels like my best laid plans (aka moving this weekend into a new home) are falling apart, God is there.  He's in control.  So instead, I need to trust Him and look at the bright side of things.  I've never been a "glass half full" kind of person.  I want to be.  I want to be an optimist and look at the silver lining, but I tend to focus more on the negatives and the things that aren't going right.  I'm going to try to be the "glass half full" kind of person.  Instead of focusing on not being in my new house right now (like I should be this very second), I'm going to think about the extra two weeks I have to slowly move the things into my new house.  I can visit the house on my lunch breaks from work and slowly unpack things.  I can have my "office/art room" set up and arranged before we even move in.  I can have clothes in the closet and medicines and bathroom stuff put away.  I can stock the cabinets and put away our dishes.  Then, I can have those empty boxes to pack the remaining stuff at our "old" house.  This will work out for us.  This will make me a more patient person.  Plus, it gives me two extra weeks to come to terms with my emotions over moving and say goodbye to our house.  I'm going to remember that even when I'm not in control, God is.  And he knows what he's doing.

I'm Baaaaaack!

Hey y'all.....remember me?  The mommy behind the Super Messy blog?  Well, lately this mommy has been SUPER BUSY--and absent from the blogging world.  It's all been for a good cause though, I promise!!

Remember Brooklyn?  And the bracelets that I committed to making, selling and then donating the money to Brooklyn and her family?  Well, those bracelets have consumed my waking moments over the last few weeks.  Orders, payments, getting addresses, volunteers to make the bracelets, stressing over when the charms would arrive....and finally, MAKING them today.  Don't get me wrong, I'm not complaining in the least.  I've enjoyed every minute of this bracelet making whirlwind.  I've loved watching the order count climb higher and higher, knowing that more money is being sent Brooklyn's way.  After multiple bracelets, knots, beads, hand cramps and FIVE HOURS LATER, all 109 Minnie Mouse bracelets are complete.   Whew. 

 

So.  For this moment, I'm caught up on bracelets.  We have no more orders coming in and the believe charms aren't here yet, so I can semi-relax other than taking payments.  Which means...I'm BACK!  With that, I'm going to do what every other blogger out there is doing today, on January 1st:  making resolutions.  A lot of people are super negative when it comes to making New Year's Resolutions.  "Who keeps them?"  "You'll make them and be back to your old ways by January 5th."  "Resolutions are a waste."  I, for one, completely disagree.  I know it's just a symbol, but the New Year is a chance to start things fresh.  I saw this completely appropriate and motivating quote on Twitter yesterday:

 

"Tomorrow (New Year's Day) is the 1st blank page in a 365 page book.  Write a good one!" 

 

New Year's is just that--a brand new year.  It's no secret....2012 wasn't the best to my family or the best year of my life.  A lot of things happened that made 2012 a year that I won't be sad to leave behind.  So, here's to starting new things and hoping that 2013 is better than 2012 even thought about being!

 

My 2013 Resolutions: 

 

1.  Be a better daughter of God.  

I LOVE my Jesus.  I love listening to WJIE and being uplifted in my faith and feeling like I can take on the world.  I love going to church and listening to the wonderful things that God has at work for my little church and little corner.  But I'm terrible about praying.  I pray when things seem helpless or when I need something.  I need to start praying whenever things are great.  Just to thank Him for another morning or another day with Marty and Avery.  I want to "pray without ceasing" (1 thessalonians 5:17).  I want to stop worrying about things and start turning them immediately over to my Father. 

 

2.  Be a better wife.

I will be the first to admit---I'm really hard on Marty.  He does more than I could ever imagine as a husband and father.  He helps me around the house, is extremely considerate, always puts me first, is an absolutely incredible father to Avery...and I still find things to nitpick.  I don't even notice I'm doing it.  I complain about things that aren't done instead of thanking him for everything that has been done.  That's why I'm going to restart my "Proverbs 31 Woman" journey again.  I want to be the kind of wife that makes Marty happy to come home to every day. 

 

3.  Start 2013 with only things I LOVE.

I'm a terrible hoarder.  I buy things I don't need in the clearance bin, I buy furniture when it's super cheap, I buy clothes because they've been marked 75% off--but I don't LOVE any of it.  Those clothes will come home and sit in my closet, never to be worn.  That piece of furniture will come home with me and hide in our storage shed because I can't find a place that it looks exactly right.  I want to start fresh and with things that I'm proud to show off and clothes that I feel great in. 

 

4.  Finish my "Hot Mama" journey. 

This holiday season has wreaked some MAJOR havoc on my diet.  I haven't stepped on a scale in weeks because I'm terrified of what it will read.  My pants are fitting a little tighter and I'm only wearing the shirts that fall loosely around my midsection.  Not anymore.  More packing my lunch, less eating out and more feeling like a Hot Mama again.

 

5.  Save money.

Here's where I've always struggled.  I don't blow money, by any stretch of the imagination.  But I do buy things here and there for $20 or under that adds up to a lot of unnecessary spending.  No more quick trips through the drive through--an extra $5 in my pocket.  STRICTLY sticking to our family budget--feeling more comfortable when it comes to paying bills and living everyday life.  It's time Marty and I start living the way Dave Ramsey taught us when we took his class. 

 

6.  Learn to sew.

Plain and simple.  I want to learn how to sew.  And sew well.

 

7.  Start crafting more.

It makes me happy.  It's my equivalent of a girl's night out.  It's a hobby that I love doing and is MY thing.  I stopped crafting and painting right before Avery was born.  I was exhausted and busy and stressed and overwhelmed and painting was the last thing on my mind.  Avery's older now and is actually sleeping well (please, can't talk about it or I'll jinx myself) and it's time I start crafting for myself again.  Make some extra money too.

 

That's it.  Sure, there's a million other things I'd love to do this year, but I know that making a ton of resolutions becomes completely unreasonable.  I feel these are things that I can do.  With encouragement and a lot of prayer, I can complete these 2013 goals.  Happy 2013 all.....can't wait to see the book you're writing this year!  

 

 

Are there any words?

I promise my posts will get happier again.  One day.  Until then, it just doesn't seem right to do a typical Hot Mess update with the events that transpired on Friday. 
I'm still in shock....how on Earth did this happen?  I don't even know if this post is going make sense because I have so many feelings since learning the news on Friday afternoon. 

Of course, like most of you, I am completely heartbroken.  Heartbroken for the children who were taken from this world far too early.  Heartbroken for their teachers who won't see those 20 smiling faces in class every single day.  Heartbroken, because I'm sure those teachers are feeling guilty that they couldn't save them.  Heartbroken for the parents.  For the classmates.  For the brothers.  The sisters.  The aunts, uncles, cousins, grandparents.  Heartbroken that someone had that much hate in their heart to do something like this.  Heartbroken for school teachers and children and parents everywhere. 

The more details that come out, the angrier I become.  Children shot multiple times.  The Westboro Baptist Church (you know, the ones that love to protest military funerals) talking about plans to protest the funerals of the children--because our "wicked" country DESERVED for this to happen.  I don't even think I have words to talk about how furious that makes me.  Angry at the people that want to talk about their anti-gun/pro-gun stance in the wake of the deaths of these 26 people.  I do not care what your gun stance is right now.  These are innocent people that were murdered for absolutely no reason--let's talk about that.  I'm angry at the people that want to take this opportunity to blast the President.  Last time I checked, we were still America.  And we're an America that's hurting right now.....badly.  I could care less if you agree with Obama or voted for him.  He took the time to go to Connecticut to support those grieving families--and even shed a tear, as a father, over the little lives lost.  Go tell someone who cares who you voted for in November. 

Like everyone else, especially all the parents of America, I'm scared.  How do you trust that your child is going to be safe in school ever again?  As terrible as this sounds, we're "prepared" for this when kids enter high school age.  We expect that hormone-ridden teenagers are capable of doing something so terrible to their fellow classmates.  But elementary school children?  We think that school is where our children will be safe.  How can you explain to your child that school is a safe place for them to be?  My child isn't even of school age yet and I'm terrified for her.  My first reaction--beyond shock and sadness--was the thought of homeschooling Avery.  You want to tell people that it will never happen here, that it was an isolated event.  How do you know??  If it happened in a small Connecticut town, who's to say it can't happen in a small (fill in your state) town?  I feel robbed of my sense of security as a parent.  Where can I take my child that this isn't going to happen?  How can I keep her safe until she's an adult?  It all comes down to a simple answer:  I can't.  I can raise Avery with every precaution in the world and she's still going to make her own decisions and live in this horribly evil world.  I can't shelter her forever.  Should I deny her the right to go to school or in public and make friends because I'm terrified of something like this happening to her?  Should I keep her locked away in our home, not letting her experience any of the wonderful things that life has to offer--just because I'm scared?  I know the obvious answer, but it doesn't ease my anxiety or worry one bit.  All I can do is to raise Avery to be cautious of strangers and to listen to her teachers and caregivers in case something like this were to happen.  Then I leave the rest up to my Heavenly Father.  Can you imagine how God felt, knowing that His son was going to face a horrible death someday?  So, I turn to Him.  He's been here.  He's known grief and suffering.  He's known the loss of His child.  He's known death and tragedy.  As much as I want to shake my fists at Him and ask "WHY!!??," I trust that He has a bigger plan for all of us {"For I know the plans I have for you, says the LORD." *jeremiah 29:11"}--including the 20 babies that left this world on Friday.  All I can do is pray.  Pray for comfort for all of us, as a nation that has been completely rocked to the core after Friday's events.  Pray that He wraps His arms around the families and the friends of the victims {"He will cover you with His feathers and under His wings you will find refuge." *psalm 91:4}.  I pray that He provides them with comfort and peace {"And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. *philippians 4:7}.  I pray that we all find comfort, knowing that those 20 children are playing in the streets of Heaven right now and listening to stories at Jesus' feet {"Let the children come to me.  Don't stop them!  For the kingdom of Heaven belongs to them." *matthew 19:14}. 

I know we've heard it all over and over--don't take this life for granted, hug the ones you love--but one of my favorite quotes sums up how I've felt since Friday:

"Love the people God gave you.

He's going to need them back some day."