Love Is.

I'm not gonna lie. At one time, my views on love were verrrry different than they are right now. But after seven years together, four years of marriage and one daughter later, I have a little different opinion on what love looks like. 

When Marty and I were dating and newly married, love looked like a nice dinner and a movie. It looked like driving around and talking forever about anything that was on our minds. Flowers for no reason. Buying me jewelry. Sweet love notes. PDA. Grand gestures of love. 

Now, it looks a little bit different. Love looks like running through a drive thru so I don't have to cook. Buying me a Dr Pepper because he knew I had a headache and we were out of caffeine at home. Holding my hand in Walmart.  Finding time at the end of the day to talk about our days and spend some time alone. Asking if I'd like to sit on the couch and watch the Big Bang Theory with him. Taking the trash out before I even ask. 

I know those of you that are newlyweds are probably shaking your heads and laughing. Don't get me wrong, we had our honeymoon stage. But now, it feels different. Now, Marty telling me that he's going to take Avery out of the house for the afternoon so I can get some things done and then take a nap is just as romantic as a bouquet of flowers (sometimes even more so, depending on what I need to get done!). I don't need the public displays of affection and the expensive gestures. Are they nice? Sure. Are they appreciated? Absolutely. A dinner alone is needed every once in awhile. But I don't need it every day. Because I know that, in his own way, through his actions that my husband is telling me he loves me every single day. And that's hot. :) 

I'm Baaaaaack!

Hey y'all.....remember me?  The mommy behind the Super Messy blog?  Well, lately this mommy has been SUPER BUSY--and absent from the blogging world.  It's all been for a good cause though, I promise!!

Remember Brooklyn?  And the bracelets that I committed to making, selling and then donating the money to Brooklyn and her family?  Well, those bracelets have consumed my waking moments over the last few weeks.  Orders, payments, getting addresses, volunteers to make the bracelets, stressing over when the charms would arrive....and finally, MAKING them today.  Don't get me wrong, I'm not complaining in the least.  I've enjoyed every minute of this bracelet making whirlwind.  I've loved watching the order count climb higher and higher, knowing that more money is being sent Brooklyn's way.  After multiple bracelets, knots, beads, hand cramps and FIVE HOURS LATER, all 109 Minnie Mouse bracelets are complete.   Whew. 

 

So.  For this moment, I'm caught up on bracelets.  We have no more orders coming in and the believe charms aren't here yet, so I can semi-relax other than taking payments.  Which means...I'm BACK!  With that, I'm going to do what every other blogger out there is doing today, on January 1st:  making resolutions.  A lot of people are super negative when it comes to making New Year's Resolutions.  "Who keeps them?"  "You'll make them and be back to your old ways by January 5th."  "Resolutions are a waste."  I, for one, completely disagree.  I know it's just a symbol, but the New Year is a chance to start things fresh.  I saw this completely appropriate and motivating quote on Twitter yesterday:

 

"Tomorrow (New Year's Day) is the 1st blank page in a 365 page book.  Write a good one!" 

 

New Year's is just that--a brand new year.  It's no secret....2012 wasn't the best to my family or the best year of my life.  A lot of things happened that made 2012 a year that I won't be sad to leave behind.  So, here's to starting new things and hoping that 2013 is better than 2012 even thought about being!

 

My 2013 Resolutions: 

 

1.  Be a better daughter of God.  

I LOVE my Jesus.  I love listening to WJIE and being uplifted in my faith and feeling like I can take on the world.  I love going to church and listening to the wonderful things that God has at work for my little church and little corner.  But I'm terrible about praying.  I pray when things seem helpless or when I need something.  I need to start praying whenever things are great.  Just to thank Him for another morning or another day with Marty and Avery.  I want to "pray without ceasing" (1 thessalonians 5:17).  I want to stop worrying about things and start turning them immediately over to my Father. 

 

2.  Be a better wife.

I will be the first to admit---I'm really hard on Marty.  He does more than I could ever imagine as a husband and father.  He helps me around the house, is extremely considerate, always puts me first, is an absolutely incredible father to Avery...and I still find things to nitpick.  I don't even notice I'm doing it.  I complain about things that aren't done instead of thanking him for everything that has been done.  That's why I'm going to restart my "Proverbs 31 Woman" journey again.  I want to be the kind of wife that makes Marty happy to come home to every day. 

 

3.  Start 2013 with only things I LOVE.

I'm a terrible hoarder.  I buy things I don't need in the clearance bin, I buy furniture when it's super cheap, I buy clothes because they've been marked 75% off--but I don't LOVE any of it.  Those clothes will come home and sit in my closet, never to be worn.  That piece of furniture will come home with me and hide in our storage shed because I can't find a place that it looks exactly right.  I want to start fresh and with things that I'm proud to show off and clothes that I feel great in. 

 

4.  Finish my "Hot Mama" journey. 

This holiday season has wreaked some MAJOR havoc on my diet.  I haven't stepped on a scale in weeks because I'm terrified of what it will read.  My pants are fitting a little tighter and I'm only wearing the shirts that fall loosely around my midsection.  Not anymore.  More packing my lunch, less eating out and more feeling like a Hot Mama again.

 

5.  Save money.

Here's where I've always struggled.  I don't blow money, by any stretch of the imagination.  But I do buy things here and there for $20 or under that adds up to a lot of unnecessary spending.  No more quick trips through the drive through--an extra $5 in my pocket.  STRICTLY sticking to our family budget--feeling more comfortable when it comes to paying bills and living everyday life.  It's time Marty and I start living the way Dave Ramsey taught us when we took his class. 

 

6.  Learn to sew.

Plain and simple.  I want to learn how to sew.  And sew well.

 

7.  Start crafting more.

It makes me happy.  It's my equivalent of a girl's night out.  It's a hobby that I love doing and is MY thing.  I stopped crafting and painting right before Avery was born.  I was exhausted and busy and stressed and overwhelmed and painting was the last thing on my mind.  Avery's older now and is actually sleeping well (please, can't talk about it or I'll jinx myself) and it's time I start crafting for myself again.  Make some extra money too.

 

That's it.  Sure, there's a million other things I'd love to do this year, but I know that making a ton of resolutions becomes completely unreasonable.  I feel these are things that I can do.  With encouragement and a lot of prayer, I can complete these 2013 goals.  Happy 2013 all.....can't wait to see the book you're writing this year!  

 

 

Sick Day. Not my idea of fun.

I really dislike sick days.  I wasn't always like this.   In college, sick days were amazing...except for the being sick part, of course.  I could go back to bed and sleep for hours, wake up, eat and then go back to sleep until whatever infection or sickness that was invading my body was gone.  Those days are no more.  Now, when I have a sick day, I feel horribly guilty.  I try to sleep, but thoughts of my messy house or my to-do list run through my head.  I don't want anyone making a fuss over me.  Don't get me wrong, I love to be pampered as much as the next girl, but not when a sickness is the reason.  I want to be pampered and waited on hand and foot when I'm at the picture of health.  Not when I feel incompetent and people have to get me hot tea and medicine.  Being at home alone right now is driving me insane.  I've told myself multiple times "Just go to sleep.  You're going to feel like CRAP if you don't get enough rest."  Except I can't.  I keep staring at the shoes in the living room floor that Avery drug out last night and I didn't get a chance to put away.  I'm thinking about the load of clothes sitting in my hamper that need to be put in the washing machine.  The outgrown clothes in Avery's room that need to be boxed up and put away are nagging at me.  I notice all the little things that I need to do around the house to make it ready for potential buyers (which hasn't been very successful so far....but that's another story completely).  Instead of doing all these things, I'm sitting on the couch watching yet another re-run episode of "What Not to Wear" and "The Chew."  I know that if I don't rest and take a break, I'll run myself down and feel even worse than before.  I just think it's a mom thing.  We're so used to taking care of everyone else and running around, fitting 12 hours of work into the 3 hours that we're home after working all day, that when we have a little downtime (no matter what the reason may be) we feel guilty about it.  We feel like we don't deserve to sit down and we see the things that still need to be accomplished.  Lets give ourselves a break ladies.  We do it all (No offense men.  We recognize all the amazing things you do too) and we still push ourselves to do more.  Enjoy your life more.  Don't feel guilty about sitting on the sofa and enjoying the latest episode of "Once Upon A Time."  Don't feel guilty about running yourself a bubble bath after the kids are down for the night.  Don't feel guilty about helping yourself to that last chocolate chip cookie every once in awhile.  While our husbands are a vital part of the home and family, we think that the successfulness of a well-run home is largely to do with us.  I have some news for you guys that might be shocking: we don't have to do it all.  If we take an hour break for ourselves every once in awhile, things are not going to fall apart.  Our husbands are perfectly capable men that can handle the kids for just a little while without our help.  I'm not suggesting that we ignore our kids and husband and home every single night so we can have some "me time."  What I am suggesting is, that if we do need that little bit of me time every once in awhile, don't feel bad about it.  Why should we feel guilty about being sick?  It's not like we can help it!  So ladies, sip that Nyquil, watch that soap opera and enjoy your sick day (crazy, right?).  It may not be fun being sick, but it may be the only rest we'll get for awhile.

The Proverbs 31 Project

Recently, I finished reading a book called "My So-Called Life as a Proverbs 31 wife" for a church book club (nevermind that the club met back last winter and I'm just now finishing the book....that's completely irrelevant) and it had a profound impact on my view of my status as a wife and mother. 
Basically, the book is about one woman's journey to be the perfect "Proverbs 31" wife.  In the book of Proverbs in the Bible, in chapter 31, is a description of a wife of noble character--the wife we are all supposed to strive to be on a daily basis:

^{10 [b]}A wife of noble character who can find?
She is worth far more than rubies.
¹¹ Her husband has full confidence in her
and lacks nothing of value.
¹² She brings him good, not harm,
all the days of her life.
¹³ She selects wool and flax
and works with eager hands.
¹⁴ She is like the merchant ships,
bringing her food from afar.
¹⁵ She gets up while it is still night;
she provides food for her family
and portions for her female servants.
¹⁶ She considers a field and buys it;
out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.
¹⁷ She sets about her work vigorously;
her arms are strong for her tasks.
¹⁸ She sees that her trading is profitable,
and her lamp does not go out at night.
¹⁹ In her hand she holds the distaff
and grasps the spindle with her fingers.
²⁰ She opens her arms to the poor
and extends her hands to the needy.
²¹ When it snows, she has no fear for her household;
for all of them are clothed in scarlet.
²² She makes coverings for her bed;
she is clothed in fine linen and purple.
²³ Her husband is respected at the city gate,
where he takes his seat among the elders of the land.
²⁴ She makes linen garments and sells them,
and supplies the merchants with sashes.
²⁵ She is clothed with strength and dignity;
she can laugh at the days to come.
²⁶ She speaks with wisdom,
and faithful instruction is on her tongue.
²⁷ She watches over the affairs of her household
and does not eat the bread of idleness.
²⁸ Her children arise and call her blessed;
her husband also, and he praises her:
²⁹ “Many women do noble things,
but you surpass them all.”
³⁰ Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.
³¹ Honor her for all that her hands have done,
and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.

 

Seriously?  Who are you kidding, book of Proverbs??  "She gets up while it is still night and provides food for her family"??  "She selects wool and flax and works with eager hands"??  Where's the verse about the husband rising up at night to see to the affairs of the household?  Or the husband doing his part to raise a family?  Why is it all about the woman's duties and things she should be doing?  When I first analyzed this verse, I was really miffed...to be completely honest.  I didn't see why it all fell on the woman's shoulders to keep the family fed, clothed, clean and happy.  This is the 21st century, for goodness sake!!  But after my self-rightous thoughts subsided, I was ashamed.  Does my husband "rise up and call me blessed and praise me?"  Do I always "speak with wisdom with faithful instruction on my tongue?"  Unfortunately, I know the answer without having to dig very deep.  So that inspired me to start my own "Proverbs 31 Project" to become the wife, mother, homemaker and daughter of God that I am supposed to be--that I NEED to be.  I have got to get out of this lazy mindset that the wash can wait until tomorrow and that it won't kill us to eat fast food just one more day this week until I can make it to the grocery.  Today, I'm going to start striving to be a "Proverbs 31" wife of the 21st century and I'm going to show you how you can too.  It doesn't mean that we have to make our family's clothing from scratch or wake up in the morning before the sun rises to ensure we get everything done.  It is about taking responsibility and realizing that the home and our family's happiness does depend on us--like it or not.  I don't expect to become June Cleaver by the end of this project, but I do expect to be a darn good wife, mother and Christian when it's over.  So......day 1 initiated.  

 



Unfriendable.

Does becoming a mom automatically make you un-friendable?  It seems like when I had my sweet Avery, I gained a daughter, but lost all of my really good friends.  If someone were to ask me right now who my best friend was, I would have trouble coming up with an answer.  Actually, before I go any farther, let me clarify.  My husband is, without a doubt, my best friend.  I know that I can tell him anything and he's always the first person I turn to whenever I have something on my mind or have news to share.  Sometimes though, you just need a girl-best friend.  Someone that understands that you HAD to buy that cute pair of shoes or your need to go into an Anthropologie store even though you can't afford anything in there.  Someone to call when you need to complain about your husband (just kidding Marty! sort of....).  Someone who will meet you for lunch once a month just so you have an excuse to put nice clothes on.  I need that person in my life.  And I don't have them. 
I had my college friends.  People that would hang out on a Wednesday night at the drop of a hat and didn't care if I called at 1 am on a Thursday to just talk or make a Taco Bell run.   As college friends tend to do though, they graduated.  I graduated.  We got jobs.  We moved.  We got married.  And, even though I share some of my fondest memories with those people, I can't remember the last time I talked to them.  Other than the occasional "Facebook hello,"  I can't remember the last real conversation I had with them.  I feel like that's part of life though.  You share the college experience and then you grow up. 
Once upon a time, I would have considered my sister my best friend.  I would tell her everything.  And I think she did the same.  We knew that we shared an unspoken sisterly bond.  Until I had a baby.  A baby that would become her niece.  Suddenly, seeing me was less important, unless I was bringing my kid along.  The bond is still there, but it's more my kid's aunt---her niece's mom kind of bond.  The ability to share secrets and stay on the phone spilling my guts isn't really there anymore.  I guess we're at different points in life now.  I used to love hanging out with my cousins.  We're all close in age and we would spend a lot of time hanging out, giggling and bonding.  Now, I feel like the old maid that's left out of the loop.  Browse any of their tweets on a weekend and you'll see inside jokes and plans for parties and get-togethers.  It just makes me feel.....old.  Outdated.  Friend-less.  I understand that I'm not the same person I was pre-baby.  I can't take off on a Wednesday night to hang out or go watch a movie on a weekend with all of them without making plans for a babysitter and trying to get home in time for the bath-bottle-bedtime routine...but sometimes it's nice to pretend that I'm still that person. 
I have my mommy friends.  The girls whose daughters are around Avery's age and we have the occasional play date.  I love spending time with these girls.  I know that I can show up with baby food in my hair or be late because I had a poop explosion situation on my hands and they just get it.  We can talk about epidurals for hours or the things we're going to do differently on our next babies.  But we haven't gotten past that "mommy friend" point.  We have a great time at the play date, but that's really where the friendships end, with the exception of one or two of the girls.
Right now, I would probably consider my mom my best friend.  We have more things in common than we ever have before and I know that I can talk to her for hours about whatever was on my mind.  She understands my need to have a good cry about Avery's sleep issues and gives me advice on how she would start to wean Avery off her bottles.  But (and if you're reading this mom, PLEASE don't take this the wrong way) there are things you can't talk to your mom about.  Sometimes, you just need a best friend.  I realize that it's not an easy thing to do.  It's not like I can just take an ad out in the paper:  Wanted.  Best friend for a 20-something mommy.  Must understand if lunch dates are cancelled due to teething, but also must be prepared for a 3 am ranting phone call when her daughter is up for the fourth time.  Needs to be a frequent window shopping buddy that supports her shoe habit.  Unpaid position. 
Is it something I've done?  Have I put myself in this mommy zone and made myself unfriendable?  Have I subconsciously distanced myself from everyone I was close to and only have myself to blame?  Or is it just part of life?  Meet the guy, get married, have the baby, lose all friends?  Am I the only one??

Wake up call

Yellow shoes.  A skinnier body.  That new summer outfit.  A custom built house.  A fuller bank account.  I'm ashamed to admit it, but I have been suffering from a bad case of discontentment.  I know my life is wonderful and I am incredibly lucky.  I have a beautiful child who is pretty well behaved.   I have a husband who helps around the house and is sensitive to my needs.  We have a gorgeous starter house that's the perfect size for our family.  I have a Jesus who loves me despite my many, many faults.  Yet, I'm not happy.  I want things I can't have.  I want a new wardrobe to fit this post baby body.  I want the latest gadget that promises to make my life easier.  I've found a house plan that I've fallen in love with and I look at everyday.  I want to live in Etown, not 40 miles away.  I'm not proud of this.  I'm not proud that I'm surrounded by blessings and still feel unhappy.  Recent life events have left me feeling like a rug has been pulled from underneath me and I'm left realizing what's truly important in life.  It's not the worldly possessions I once envied and cherished.  I honestly believe that everything in life happens for a reason.  Maybe God put this bump in our journey to wake me up and realize that I don't need to have the latest and greatest.  I don't need to be surrounded by things.  I have family....and a large one at that.  Family that would do anything for me.  I have a daughter....a child that reminds me every single day that there's still good in the world and I have something to be thankful for.  I have a husband....who is my perfect half and I would be completely lost without.  I have a God....a God that, no matter what situation life throws me, is protecting me and loves me completely unconditionally.  This is enough. 

In 2012, I resolve to drive myself crazy.

I know there's still a few days until the new year and the time for making resolutions for 2012 is a couple of days away, but I thought I would get a head start on making my (rather lengthy) list of resolutions. Here goes.

1. I WILL make dinner again. I love to cook. I don't have the skill to be able to whip something together from 5 ingredients in my pantry, but I can follow a recipe. And actually like doing it. There's nothing like the feeling of accomplishment when you sit down to a home cooked meal each night, knowing that your hands put together this meal (along with Pillsbury and Sara Lee--every cook needs a little help). I'm tired of eating out, I'm tired of seeing money disappear due to eating out. If I make dinner again six out of the seven nights a week, going out to a restaurant will become a treat again, not just a couple of times a week occurance like it is now. Cook dinner. No excuses.
2. This one's a little trickier.....lose weight. Now, I'm not naive enough to think that I'm going to get my fairly skinny pre-baby body back, but I would like to drop one more jean size and a few inches around the waist. Right now, I'm two sizes bigger than what I was before Avery. I would enjoy wiggling back into a size 6 jean and be perfectly content. This will be achieved through exercise. A tough one for me. I do not, in any way shape or form, have motivation to exercise. Even as a UK student, when the campus gym membership was FREE, I could not bring myself to put on work out clothes, drive to the gym, walk from the parking garage and work out. Not to mention how inadequate I felt being around those health nuts. Here I would be, huffing and puffing and close to death on the treadmill, while they barely broke a sweat running their third mile. No thank you. But I can do some form of a work out at home. Lift light weights with Marty. Do sit ups. Walk around our neighborhood. Too bad doing laundry and changing diapers doesn't burn more calories.....
3. Organize and clean my disgusting house. Listen. I'm a new mom. I'm exhausted 80% of the time. Currently, my attitude about cleaning house is that I don't have the energy to do it on a daily basis. I HAVE to get out of this mindframe. Instead of walking in the door and dumping everything on the kitchen table, I need to make the effort to put things away. Right now, when Avery goes to sleep around 8:30, I'm faced with the dilemma of chosing to accomplish things around the house that don't get done during the day or sleeping. 3 out of 4 times, sleeping wins. I know that my baby will be awake in a few hours (no, at 5 months old, we do not have a sleeping schedule figured out yet) and I want every precious hour of sleep that I can get. Instead, I need to accept the fact that I am not supposed to sleep during this period of Avery's life and start keeping my house neater. I'm not saying that I have to be an obsessive, oh-my-Lord-there's-dirt-on-my-floor-and-I'm-going-to-freak kind of person, but at least having my stuff put away would be a start. Then my 2013 goal can be to have a "Pinterest-esque" organized home.
4. Save money. This kind of goes hand-in-hand with the "cook more, eat out less" goal, but I need to stop buying things for myself. When I walk into Target, I usually peruse the clearance section of the women's clothes and shoes. Why? I have PLENTY of both. I don't need another black shirt or pair of flats. Make do with what I have. And I have some pretty great pieces in my closet that I haven't worn in awhile. And while I'm not buying clothes for myself, I need to stop randomly buying clothes for Avery. Believe it or not, this one will be harder to do. Baby girl clothes are sooooooo adorable. And so hard to pass up. But she's going to outgrow that onesie in 3 months...no matter how cute it is. She has two entire drawers full of onesies and a closet jam-packed of cute clothes. Stop. Buying. Baby clothes. Spend that money instead on formula and diapers. Or, better yet, put that money in Avery's college fund.
5. Be a better wife. Sometimes, I feel like with the crazy whirlwind that is my life of a mother with a 5 month old, my husband gets lost in the shuffle. We get up, we talk to Avery, we go to work, I pick up Avery, we get home, we play with Avery, we feed Avery, we put Avery to bed, I go to bed. I see very little "us" time in our current schedule. My husband has asked me several times to sit and watch a DVR'ed episode of "Mike and Molly" with him. I usually decline, opting instead to wash bottles or go to bed. What would thirty minutes of watching TV hurt? Especially when it means that I'm actually getting to spend uninterrupted time with Marty? I feel so frazzled most of the time with my new mom status and my inability to keep a clean house or do anything remotely domesticated anymore, that usually my frustrations come out on the target that's nearest....usually Marty. And I don't understand why. I'm so lucky to have a husband like I do. I hear stories of friends with babies whose husbands don't change diapers or clean up after themselves or do any type of housework in general. I have a husband that will change a diaper (although we're struggling with the dirty diapers right now), does his own laundry and will help me with housework when I'm feeling overwhelmed. Why don't I thank him more? This resolution should probably be moved up to the number 1 spot in importance.
6. Do more with Avery. I browse Pinterest probably once a week and find a million good ideas to do with or for your children. And I immediately pin it to my "Avery stuff" board and resolve that I will do those things for my little girl. Just like everything else, it gets lost in the hustle of our lives and the idea is quickly forgotten. Stop. Make moments count with Avery because she's only little once and I want her childhood to be as memorable as mine.
7. Figure out a way to balance this new-and-improved, domesticated, supermommy me, while also keeping time for myself. Since having Avery, I haven't been able to paint much. Mostly because I don't have the time, but also because my craft room/the office has officially become "the junk room." Don't judge me, I know you have one too. Avery in all her baby adorableness, arrived with a lot of stuff. In our house, that means very little place to keep it. We have a fairly small house with not much storage...few closets, no attic, no basement, no garage. This results in things being thrown in the office, because there is absolutely nowhere else for it to go. When I would walk into the office to relax and paint, I would become so overwhelmed by the clutter that I would immediately hyperventilate and walk back out. I will get this office cleaned, I will paint more, and I WILL find that "me" time that I've lost.

Okay. I'm done for now. There's a million other things that I'd love to list (organize our back porch, keep up with our landscaping, clean the front porch and put out chairs, start collecting antiques and incorporating them with the modern-ish pieces in our house, become a trend-setter and stop worrying what everyone thinks about my clothes and wear what makes me feel good (a.k.a. hats and dresses), make photo books, finish my dad's scrapbook, blog more) but I know that's not being realistic. Heck, out of the seven things I have listed, I'll probably be lucky to keep more than two of them for a few months. But I'm going to give it the old college try. Wish me luck. (and good luck to you in all your 2012 endeavors)

Ain't love grand?

When I was younger, I had a black Labrador retriever named Pepper. Greatest dog ever. I got him for Christmas when I was 2 years old and grew up with that dog by my side.  I adored him. And I thought I knew what love was....
Until I had my first "boyfriend" in middle school. We never went on a date, held hands or really even talked to each other, but I thought I knew what love was....
Until I had my first high school relationship. We went on dates and hung out.  And I thought I knew what love was....
Until I met Marty.  We had an instant connection to each other and even when we were "just friends," I always wondered what it would be like if we were dating.  Then he asked me to be his girlfriend.  And I was convinced I knew what love was....
Until we had been together for a few years and he got down on one knee in front of hundreds of people at Disney World and asked me to be his wife.  I was so full of emotion, I thought my heart would explode.  And I thought I knew what love was....
Until I walked down an aisle, my dad's arm linked in mine, anxiously waiting to recite my vows and become Mrs. Marty Gaddie.  I was a crazy, don't see anyone but him, head over heels newlywed.  And I thought I knew what love was...
Until we got through our first year of marriage together.  We went through ups, downs, fights, date nights and building a home together.  And I thought I knew what love was....
Until I saw him hold our child.  Knowing that God put this man in my life and blessed us with this beautiful child, who is a perfect combination of us both overwhelms me daily.  Watching Marty with our baby girl is enough to bring me to tears and makes my heart swell with joy.  The love I have for her is indescribable and completely different than any love I've felt before.  And I'm convinced.  THIS has to be what love is.

P-I-N-K

I think I have a medical condition. I feel a little funny. Things around me don't seem the same as they used to. It's almost like they've taken on a different coloring, a lighter colored hue almost. I think I'm seeing.......pink. Lots and lots of pink. :)

Last week, Marty and I went to our ultrasound appointment to find out if little baby Gaddie was going to be a boy or a girl. But we weren't going to be finding out in the traditional way. Instead of having the ultrasound tech move her little paddle around and tell us what we were looking at, we told her we wanted the results put into a sealed envelope to be opened later...at our gender reveal party. If you've never heard of one, you're not alone. When my brilliant sister first approached me with this idea, I was a little skeptical. I'd never heard of a party like this, so what would other people think about it? And then I realized that it was a fun, untraditional way to get my family together and find out all at once what we were having, so we made plans. Invitations were sent:

The idea behind a gender party is that the entire family finds out together what you're having via cake (or cupcakes, whatever floats your boat). Marty and I went to our ultrasound appointment, had the tech seal the envelope and the envelope was quickly whisked off to a bakery for the bakery people to open. They would then proceed to make us a cake filled with either pink or blue icing.

All along, I just KNEW I was having a boy. I saw visions of baseball practices, dirty uniforms and all kinds of creepy crawling insects that a boy would just find fascinating. I imagined tractor rides and fishing lessons and days on the farm with '"Granddaddy." I had absolutely convinced myself that it was a boy and didn't even consider another option. Not that I didn't want a girl. I would LOVE a girl. I'm not big into pink, but I could see myself getting a little girl ready for school and bringing her a bouquet of flowers for her first ballet recital. I just didn't think that was going to happen. So I was preparing myself for a boy. Getting ready for our party, I slipped on my blue shirt, put out the decorations and waited until cake cutting time. When I picked up the cake from the bakery, it's all I could do not to dig my finger into the icing and find out for myself if we were having a Dalton or an Avery. But I was a good little girl and waited the entire 8 hours for our party so I could find out with my husband and our families. When the time actually arrived, I was so incredibly nervous! No more calling the baby "it!" No more calling it just "the baby" when I felt like "it" was too harsh. No more looking at baby things, but unable to buy them because I didn't know if I needed pink or blue! It almost seemed surreal that we were about to find out. My heart was pounding when we cut into the cake...and then I saw the pink. I was absolutely in shock!

So, Avery Leigh Gaddie will be here sometime in July (I hope, I hope I hope...) and I am in the process of going broke. Two days after our gender party, I went with my mom to the Kentucky Kid's Consignment Sale at Pritchard. Bad news bears. Mom and I are not the "hunter-gatherer" type of shoppers. The only place I will dig to find something good is TJMaxx--and that's only because it's required at that store. If it's not immediately accessible or within reach, I'm just going to move along. I'd rather pay $10 more for the convenience (and sanity!) of Target than having to dig for deal. However, I had heard all of these wonderful things about the consignment sale and I knew it would be my first chance to go baby shopping, so I purchased two tickets. When mom and I walked in the door, we were tempted to turn right back around and walk out. There were pregnant women, grandmothers and baby strollers EVERYWHERE. I just knew it was going to be a madhouse the second those doors were opened. Surprisingly, it was calm. Surprisingly, I found a $45 carseat and several adorable outfits without massive digging. Since the consignment sale, I may have bought her a few things from GAP and Old Navy :) and have been checking websites daily for possible nursery decor options. I absolutely cannot wait to start planning now that we know for sure this baby is a "she." And she seems just as excited as I am...hiccups, moving and squirming CONSTANTLY since the day of the gender party. Looks like we have a diva on our hands already!